March 2012
1 post
Dr's office, 2/29/12
Nurse: [weighing me, looking at my chart] I see you're turning 21 pretty soon.
Me: Yep.
Nurse: I just turned 21 in November.
Me: You're 21?
Nurse: Yep.
Me: Wow.
Nurse: What're you doing for your birthday?
Me: I don't know yet. It's during finals week.
Nurse: Bummer.
Me: Mm.
Nurse: You have to do something though.
Me: Yeah, everybody keeps saying.
Nurse: Just go ALL out, do a bunch of stuff you'll regret. It's tradition.
Me: Is that what you did?
Nurse: Of course. I went to Nocturnal, got two bottles of vodka and after the second one I don't even remember.
Me: Mm.
Nurse: Woke up in my bed though, so.
Me: Well that's good.
Nurse: Right? Couldn't've been that bad.
Me: No babies?
Nurse: No babies.
Me: Couldn't've been that bad.
Nurse: Right? Alright, so what brings you in?
Me: I think I have a sinus infection [listing symptoms]
Nurse: Mkay... [examines chart] How do you feel now?
Me: Not so good.
Nurse: Hm. Well, you've lost seven pounds since you last came here in March, if that's the kind of thing you like to hear.
Me: OK.
Nurse: What color's your mucus?
Me: You're really 21?
February 2012
102 posts
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“I never really wanted people who were close to me to read my work. I mean, what...”
– Joyce Carol Oates
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I told my mom I'm terrible at grocery shopping
She emailed me a list of what to get and wrote me out a menu of what to make for each night of the week.
Love you, momma.
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About 200,000 books are published in America each...
The New York Times reviews about 1%.
-Sam Tanenhaus, editor of the NYTimes Book Review
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Cashier: Can I see your ID?
Me: Why?
Cashier: You need to be eighteen to buy medicine.
Me: Do I not look eighteen?
Cashier: Not really.
Me: ...How old are you?
Cashier: Seventeen.
Me: How old do you think I am?
Cashier: Can I see your ID, please?
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“Bad writing is more than a matter of shit syntax and faulty observation; bad...”
– Stephen King
whorevidal:
applied on craig’s list to be somebody’s personal driver because i really did learn like life lessons from ‘driving miss daisy’ and also because i have big dreams and he just called me and the position requires that i wear “stretch pants” and um
Read aloud last night
from something I’ve been working on for eight months. They said nice things and pointed things out that I never did notice, and on from there I went with my sinus infection across the street to fetch me a somewhat celebratory sandwich, and I came back and played video games with the roommates and then went on tumblr and was there until the wee hours. My head was hurting and my nose was...
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“If you are not lost, then you’re at a place somebody has already...”
– Junot Diaz
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“There are two ways of talking. One is the easy way, where you talk lightly, and...”
– V.S. Naipaul
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whorevidal:
i do want a neti pot
but what if i become the kind of person who owns a neti pot
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HOLY SHIT FUCKING WHAT? THERE'S A NEW DAVID FOSTER... →
whorevidal:
i’ve fallen asleep the past four nights to kubrick’s ‘lolita’ on repeat in my vcr
what will the neighbors think
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“Angry tulips with you darling manflower punish your cactus if you don’t...”
– James Joyce, Ulysses
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One of the roommates
just got out of a six-year relationship today. He comes into my room to tell me about it. He goes through everything that led up to the break up, how it finally happened, and every now and then he pauses and looks around or straight at the wall or straight at the floor with this near-vacant “So it goes” sort of expression, and in seeing it I remember with a vertigo-like vividness the...
Writing an article about the annoyance of celebrity memoirs. Started out as amusing but has since gone downhill. I don’t suspect they’ll like this one :-/
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“If you want to be a writer you better be arrogant and pretentious. We’ve...”
– Victorian Lit/Hemingway teacher
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Before shooting himself
Ernest Hemingway tried to commit suicide by walking into an airplane propeller.